Family: There's an App for that: Angry Birds (By: Pastor Jan van Oosten)
Like a red light on the dashboard of your car, anger is an indicator that says "OUCH!" Or, "That isn't fair!"
The initial feeling of anger isn't something to feel guilty about as anger only becomes good or bad depending upon how you respond to it.
THE TWO TYPICAL ANGRY BIRDS
Passive Bird
By: Repressing or denying.
Emotions: depression, anxiety, fear, resentment
Behavior: withdrawal, playing the victim, provoking or manipulating, slandering.
Aggressive Bird
By: Exploding, reacting in rage
Emotions: rage
Behavior: dumping, blaming, criticizing, abuse, raging
HOW TO BE GOOD AND ANGRY
1. Be slow to anger (feel and think before you respond):
Proverbs 14:17 A quick-tempered person does foolish things.
Proverbs 16:32 Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city. (SELF-CONTROL)
2. Become an active listener! (James1:19-20)
WHY IS IT HARD TO LISTEN AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT (THE ABC'S):
Assumption- You think you know what the person is going to say so you don't listen. (Proverbs 18:13)
Solution: Force yourself to actually hear what they are saying.
Bias-You let the person's outward appearance or opinions block you from actually hearing what is said. Rather you focus on what you will say next. (Proverbs 18:15)
Solution: Don't focus on one specific thought or emotion that YOU have. Don't mentally prepare a rebuttal!
Control- You feel the need to interrupt so as to correct what the person is saying. (Matthew 7:1-5)
Solution: Maintain a relaxed non-hurry posture that communicates that their agenda is important to you. Nod and use small verbal comments like yes, and uh huh. Avoid being petty. (Philippians 4: 5-7)
3. Respond Appropriately. (Proverbs 15:1)
FOUR STEPS TO CLEAR COMMUNICATION
1. Before offering your opinion, reflect what has been said by paraphrasing "What I heard you say is..."
2. Allow the other person opportunity to crosscheck the accuracy of your paraphrase. Continue this step until you can accurately paraphrase their view.
3. Offer your input.
4. Repeat
AND YOU WILL BEGIN TO:
Act biblicaly
Be humbled
Find a real solution
Like a red light on the dashboard of your car, anger is an indicator that says "OUCH!" Or, "That isn't fair!"
The initial feeling of anger isn't something to feel guilty about as anger only becomes good or bad depending upon how you respond to it.
THE TWO TYPICAL ANGRY BIRDS
Passive Bird
By: Repressing or denying.
Emotions: depression, anxiety, fear, resentment
Behavior: withdrawal, playing the victim, provoking or manipulating, slandering.
Aggressive Bird
By: Exploding, reacting in rage
Emotions: rage
Behavior: dumping, blaming, criticizing, abuse, raging
HOW TO BE GOOD AND ANGRY
1. Be slow to anger (feel and think before you respond):
Proverbs 14:17 A quick-tempered person does foolish things.
Proverbs 16:32 Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city. (SELF-CONTROL)
2. Become an active listener! (James1:19-20)
WHY IS IT HARD TO LISTEN AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT (THE ABC'S):
Assumption- You think you know what the person is going to say so you don't listen. (Proverbs 18:13)
Solution: Force yourself to actually hear what they are saying.
Bias-You let the person's outward appearance or opinions block you from actually hearing what is said. Rather you focus on what you will say next. (Proverbs 18:15)
Solution: Don't focus on one specific thought or emotion that YOU have. Don't mentally prepare a rebuttal!
Control- You feel the need to interrupt so as to correct what the person is saying. (Matthew 7:1-5)
Solution: Maintain a relaxed non-hurry posture that communicates that their agenda is important to you. Nod and use small verbal comments like yes, and uh huh. Avoid being petty. (Philippians 4: 5-7)
3. Respond Appropriately. (Proverbs 15:1)
FOUR STEPS TO CLEAR COMMUNICATION
1. Before offering your opinion, reflect what has been said by paraphrasing "What I heard you say is..."
2. Allow the other person opportunity to crosscheck the accuracy of your paraphrase. Continue this step until you can accurately paraphrase their view.
3. Offer your input.
4. Repeat
AND YOU WILL BEGIN TO:
Act biblicaly
Be humbled
Find a real solution
