How to Emotionally Prepare for Deployment

What to Expect Before Deployment
For anyone who has ever gone through a deployment, you probably have a set routine or list of things to expect. Many couples start to bicker more about little things that don't really matter. Some just start overwhelming themselves with chores and things to do that matter more than their spouse. Others try to spend as much time together as possible before the deployment. Whatever your style is, recognize that all of these strategies are normal and that every family should recognize and accept their own strategy.
Accept Your Husband's Enthusiasm to Deploy
Servicemembers train to deploy. That is their job. Training an entire lifetime and never getting to deploy is actually a nightmare for many, and not a perk of the job like many wives would think. It isn't uncommon for a servicememner to be excited to deploy. Don't be offended by this. It is important that your spouse leave happy and ready to do his job. If he isn't focused, not only will he have a bad deployment, but morale can plummet within the unit. If your spouse's job is in combat, they need to be focused, need to be excited, and cannot afford to have an angry family back home. Your enthusiasm is just as important as his enthusiasm for the unit.
Acknowledging Your Own Feelings Before Deployment
It is ok to be mad, just make sure you're being productive with your feelings and find positive outlets for those feelings. There are many resources to deal with your emotions. You can talk to other wives who have been there before, you can talk to your FRG leadership, or your Ombudsman. There are also great counseling resources on base or out in town in any military community that are aware of the stressors of being a military wife.

Halloween 2009

Halloween was so much fun this year. Emily had fun going up to the door at every house with a light on. She made sure to ask every person that answered the door for a candy for her, one for her sister and one for her cousin Vincent.

Emily loves Vincent! She is a great big sister and is also turning out to be a great older cousin. The reason she was a dinosaur for halloween this year was because when I asked what she wanted to be she told me T-Rex... lol... and T-Rex is what she got to be!

BYOP Party for Halloween

Here are a few pictures from the Pumpkin Carving Party. Believe it or not, this was the first time Joe carved pumpkins. Above is a picture of him carving a pumpkin that took him about 2 hours to carve.

Roxy was a great highlight of the night. Everyone enjoyed seeing her in her little pumpkin outfit with her hat. She is such a good baby, once she fell asleep she borrowed Vincents bouncer and was out for the night!

Above is a picture of Daddy Joe helping Emily to carve her pumpkin! She had a fun time making her pumpkin but she was not going to touch that inside gooshy stuff with her fingers lol. She kept asking Grandma and Papa for a spoon! It was very cute!

Here is a picture of all of us on the floor together with our pumpkins! It was fun watching Emily be so creative this year!

Emily singing to Roxy while feeding her!

Happy 3rd BDay Emily

The first picture is of Emily at school on October 14th, her actual birthday. Joe and I made cupcakes to take to her class on her birthday. All the kids sang her happy birthday! She had a great time. This is a picture of the cake we bought for the party at Papa Page's house.

Emily playing at Papa's house before everyone arrived. I loved her hair! It turned out sooo cute!
And... here's the picture of the bike Papa and Grandma bought Emily for her birthday! She is so excited to learn to ride it!

For My Military Wife Friends:

While I have never had the pleasure of meeting you or your husband, I felt the need to write you and express a very deep feeling that I have in my heart.

I, as a person, am not brave. I do not tackle things head on, as I hate confrontation. I will travel 100 miles out of my way just to avoid a conflict. I am an American woman that has no idea what is going on in the military other than what I hear on the news.

I have never had to let go of someone so that they could go fight for people that they didn't know, people that sometimes do not appreciate or understand what they are fighting for.I have never had a sleepless night of worry because of a report that another bomb has exploded and I still haven't heard from my husband.

I have never had to wait for months on end to hold the one that I loved so.I have never had to tell my children that daddy wasn't coming home tonight because he was so far away fighting for something that they aren't yet old enough to understand.

I have never had to hold my head high and suppress the tears as I hear that it will be at least another six months of separation before my loved one gets to come home.I have never had to deal with a holiday away from the one that I thought I would share every day of my life with.And I have never had to feel the panic rising in my heart at the sound of a ringing phone or knock at the door for fear that it is the news that everyone is terrified of getting.

For the reasons listed above, I can not tell you that I understand how you feel. I can not tell you that you must be strong. I can not say that you shouldn't be angry, because you "knew what you were getting into when you married a military man". I can not say these things because I have never had to walk in your shoes.

What I can say for certain is that because of your unselfish acts of bravery and your husbands willingness to stand up for those who see him as "just another soldier" - - I will never have to walk in your shoes.

I do understand that as a military wife you are expected to uphold a certain amount of control, but I never understood how you could do it, until now. I have figured out that you are not like other women. You are of a special breed. You have a strength within you that holds life together in the darkest of hours, a strength of which I will never possess. The faith you have is what makes you stand out in a crowd; it makes you glow with emotion and swell with pride at the mention of The United States of America.

You are a special lady, a wonderful partner and a glorious American.I have more respect for your husband than I could ever tell you, but until recently I never thought much about those that the soldier leaves at home during deployment.Until this moment I could never put into words exactly what America meant to me.Until this moment, I had no real reason to.... Until I heard of you.

Your husband and his military family hold this nation close, safe from those who wish to hurt us...but you and those like you are the backbone of the American family. You keep the wheels in motion and the hearts alive while most would just break completely down. Military families make this nation what it is today.You give us all hope and you emit a warming light at the end of a long dark tunnel.Because of you and your family...I am able to be me. I am able to have my family. I am able to walk free in this great land. Because of you and your family, I can look ahead to the future with the knowledge that life is going to be okay. Because of you and your family, I can awake to a new day, everyday.

I realize that you are a stronger person than I will ever be because of these things and I just wanted to take the time today to say thank you to you and your family for allowing me that freedom.I will never be able to repay this debt to you, as it is unmatchable. However, I hope that you know that no matter where you are...what you are doing...what has happened today...or what will happen tomorrow...Your husband will NEVER be "just another soldier" to me.... And you, dear sweet lady, will never be forgotten.You are all in my prayer's everyday and I pray that God will bring you back together with your loved one safely.

May God Bless You!

(author unknown)

Hospital Pictures of Roxy